I Will Run For Food

I may have teared up a little watching this.

This little boy woke up with a fever this morning. So we are spending our Saturday morning snuggling on the couch. 

Please send coffee.

This little boy woke up with a fever this morning. So we are spending our Saturday morning snuggling on the couch.

Please send coffee.

Friday Five

1) I’ve been absent on here since my dad’s death. It wasn’t an intentional choice, I just really haven’t had anything to write about. I’ll try to fix that.

2) Every time I see a plane fly over (we live right next to the airport so that’s a lot) I get really angry and then really sad. We should be leaving for Australia in five days. But no. We’re not. We’re going up north for a few days. Like we’ve done a hundred times before. I don’t want to live my life in a 500 mile radius of where I was born. I need to see new places. To explore. To dream of all the possibilities. Canceling this trip crushed a little part of me.

3) I haven’t been running. I’ve only gone to yoga once this month. I don’t know why. It just doesn’t feel important to me right now. Which isn’t who I am.

4) I feel disconnected in general. I go to work. I come home. I don’t see anyone other than my 18 month old child. I barely see my husband because we work opposite schedules to make child care easier. I hardly cook anymore and I just don’t feel like cleaning.

5) Now I know why I haven’t been writing. I guess I was worried it would come out sounding like this. Sigh. Sorry.

TBT

Magen’s Bay, St Thomas 2011.

TBT

Magen’s Bay, St Thomas 2011.

If anything good can come out of this situation, these cards were filled with kind words, heartfelt memories and almost $2,000 in memorials for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.

Tumblr friends really are the best kind of friends to have. 

Thank you Becky XOXOXO.

Tumblr friends really are the best kind of friends to have.

Thank you Becky XOXOXO.

We made pizza on the grill tonight. Zucchini, tomatoes, basil and ricotta. Delicious!

We made pizza on the grill tonight. Zucchini, tomatoes, basil and ricotta. Delicious!

Friday Five:

1) My dad’s funeral was yesterday. It was a ridiculously hard day, but Little Mister looked really handsome and only had a couple meltdowns. 

2) Someone asked me if I was expecting yesterday. I’m over weight right now, but I don’t think I look pregnant. In her defense my mom told her I was expecting a little girl wth? My mom denied saying it. Apparently it was a misunderstanding. At any rate, I need to take a serious look at my diet and make some tweaks. 

3) We canceled our trip to Australia. We just didn’t have enough time to figure out an alternate plan for Little Mister before the balance was due. I’m pretty upset about it. But taking a toddler on our anniversary trip across the world just wasn’t something we wanted to do. We might still go somewhere that week. We just don’t know where yet. It will have to be kid friendly obviously. 

4) I would like to tell you that I’ve been on top of my training plan, but a cold and all the grief knocked me off track. I’m going to make an attempt to resume training today. 

5) I have received an overwhelming amount of support from friends and family near and far during this difficult time. You really find out who truly loves you when something happens. The biggest surprise? My college roommate came to the wake. I’ve seen her maybe 3 times in the last 17 years.

Friday Five:

1) My dad’s funeral was yesterday. It was a ridiculously hard day, but Little Mister looked really handsome and only had a couple meltdowns.

2) Someone asked me if I was expecting yesterday. I’m over weight right now, but I don’t think I look pregnant. In her defense my mom told her I was expecting a little girl wth? My mom denied saying it. Apparently it was a misunderstanding. At any rate, I need to take a serious look at my diet and make some tweaks.

3) We canceled our trip to Australia. We just didn’t have enough time to figure out an alternate plan for Little Mister before the balance was due. I’m pretty upset about it. But taking a toddler on our anniversary trip across the world just wasn’t something we wanted to do. We might still go somewhere that week. We just don’t know where yet. It will have to be kid friendly obviously.

4) I would like to tell you that I’ve been on top of my training plan, but a cold and all the grief knocked me off track. I’m going to make an attempt to resume training today.

5) I have received an overwhelming amount of support from friends and family near and far during this difficult time. You really find out who truly loves you when something happens. The biggest surprise? My college roommate came to the wake. I’ve seen her maybe 3 times in the last 17 years.

The phone call came just after midnight last night.

Fuck cancer.

Ok friends, I need some advice. The balance for our trip to Australia is due tomorrow. We are trying to decide if we can actually go. So here are the facts:

We will be gone for a total of 12 days in September. We are leaving our son at home. He will be 18 months old when we leave.

The plan was to have him stay with cousins the first weekend we are gone. We will hire someone to take care of him all of the weekdays. But he would need to spend the night at grandmas house. It’s familiar, she has a crib etc.

She has told us that she will not watch him while we are gone. His other grandparents aren’t really interested in having a relationship with him, let alone watching him for several days.

We have discussed taking Little Mister with us. We feel it would be unfair to him. He does not like to be restrained or forced to sit still. A 15 hour plane ride would be torture for not only him, but every one around him.

So it seems that our options are to:
1) just go and hope my mom comes around in the next month.
2) take him with.
3) try to find other child care.
4) go some place closer and take him with us.
5) cancel.

A few other facts to consider: if we cancel we are out $1,139. We cannot travel from October-January because we work retail. We don’t want to go to oz in the height of their summer (jan-March). If we have a second child, it will be next year and we won’t want/can’t travel.

This whole situation is making me feel like a selfish, horrible person, but travel is important to us and it feels like we have a small window to fit a trip in. Please help.

desert-child:

a very important note to self:

if you want to do something

then.just.go.fucking.do.it.

it’s that simple.

that’s how you create your life.

Yes. Trying to remind myself of this currently.

As I watched Little Mister cheer for the runners in a half marathon this morning, it suddenly dawned on me that I have a race today. 

The hubby and I signed up to run a 5k together at 9pm. Since I forgot about the race, I also forgot to get a babysitter. Strollers aren’t allowed on the course. 

Not sure what we’re going to do. I sad now.

Edit: Keira to the rescue. She’s going to hang out with LM.

As I watched Little Mister cheer for the runners in a half marathon this morning, it suddenly dawned on me that I have a race today.

The hubby and I signed up to run a 5k together at 9pm. Since I forgot about the race, I also forgot to get a babysitter. Strollers aren’t allowed on the course.

Not sure what we’re going to do. I sad now.

Edit: Keira to the rescue. She’s going to hang out with LM.

Wish you were here.

Wish you were here.

I’m in Scottsdale, AZ for work. I probably won’t have time to hike camelback, but the views are amazing.

I’m in Scottsdale, AZ for work. I probably won’t have time to hike camelback, but the views are amazing.

Yep. Completely 100% accurate spelling of Heather.

Yep. Completely 100% accurate spelling of Heather.