This will most likely be the first of two posts about the weekend. It’s difficult to sum up what this race/experience was about for me. In fact it wasn’t really about me at all. It never really was. From day one this race was about my dad who had just been diagnosed with cancer. It was about Melinda’s mom who lost her battle with cancer a few years ago. It was about all of the people who gave me money to go out there and kick cancer’s ass.

I never thought that I would be six months pregnant. I never thought that I would cry before stepping into the corral. I never thought I would have so many doubts that I could finish.

But then you’re running and the miles are ticking by, and you feel OK. Better in fact than you’ve felt in months while running. Before you know it you’re at the half marathon point and there are your friends and family, and you realize that this really is achievable. That you really will finish. I mean really, why did I ever doubt that? I know myself to well, there was no way I wasn’t going to cross that finish line.

I didn’t care how fast I was running. I didn’t care how many potty breaks I had to take, I just kept moving. I kept thinking about all the people supporting me at home. My parents tracking my progress from their computer. Egocentric thoughts about time goals didn’t matter. This one wasn’t for me, it was for every person who will never run a marathon, because they are to sick to do so.

The internet being there was a bonus, but it was never the reason for the race. I spotted a few of you out there on the course. It was hard to miss Claire’s Do Epic Shit sign in mile 7. I was so happy to see KC’s smile in real life somewhere around mile 18. You may not have recognized me in the moment, but I recognized you and it gave me energy.

I didn’t get to meet as many people as I would have liked, but we had limited time in the city, and I had a job to do. Someone told me that we were there for tumblr runs Chicago, which included me, but was not just about me. Which in fact was very true. I am a part of tumblr, which does include me, but no part of this was ever about me. It was always about my dad. It was always about cancer. It was always about accomplishing something impossible in honor of someone else.

So congratulations to every single one of you who showed up, crossed that starting line and did something amazing on a chilly Sunday morning. I am proud of each and everyone of you. I am so honored to be a small part of such an amazing and inspiring group of people.

To every person who stood on a corner, held a sign, rang a cowbell, navigated through a strange city and screamed for friends and strangers: thank you. Your energy and enthusiasm made my feet feel lighter and lifted my spirits in those dark moments.

You don’t have to a run a marathon to prove anything to anyone. You don’t have to run a marathon to be considered a “real” runner. But, if you get the opportunity to run one, you should. It will humble you, break you, elate you and change you like nothing else. And that is the kind of experience that life is all about.

actv4lyf:

If you saw any of these yesterday, it was us!!! We love our runners!! Woot woot!!

I especially liked the labor reference.

Dear Feet,
I just wanted to take the time to say thank you. You have done so much for me over my lifetime. The past few years I have asked you to accomplish what seemed impossible.

We have run over 3000 miles together. You have splashed through puddles, snow, mud and slush. Sacrificed your toenails. Endured blisters of epic size. Charged up hills that seemed endless. Completed speed work on the treadmill.

One year ago this weekend, you helped me complete my first marathon. I know how much it hurt you. How much you wanted to quit. But you didn’t. You kept going. One foot in front of the other until we crossed that finish line. I will never forget that moment. Ever.

Here comes the hard part. I’m going to ask you to do it again. To carry me through another 26.2. This time will be harder. You have to carry the weight of two people. But I believe in you. I know how strong you are! So what do you say, one more time? I’ll even treat you to a pedicure after. Provided you keep all your nails :)

Feet don’t fail me now. You’re the best!

All my love,
The Management

I got in a nice little 3 mile run after work today. It was a little warmer than I was expecting, but it felt good to get out there and move a bit. I’m not going to lie, every run, even a short one is difficult now. I am encasing myself in a nice little bubble of denial that I am racing in a few days. My brain cannot wrap itself around the enormity of a marathon right now. Intellectually, I know I have done this before and am more than capable, but when I feel how hard my body has to work for even the smallest distances, I get worried.

So no pep talks. No OMG this is going to be so much fun. No you can do it’s.

I am living in a world of marathon? What marathon? Until I’m freezing my ass off on that starting line on Sunday.

In other news…

Unprocessed October is going pretty well so far. I have had to make a few small changes to avoid things that I shouldn’t be putting in my body. I have stopped putting artificial sweetener in my coffee each morning. The biggest surprise was all the “things” in my supposedly healthy granola bars that I can’t even pronounce. So I’ve had to come up with other mid-morning snack ideas. I have a few recipes for home made granola bars, so next week I’ll make one of those. I’m excited to keep making small tweaks each day to eat just a little bit better. Once the marathon is over, I will post more in detail about what I’m actually eating, the recipes I’m making, and what surprises I discover about the foods we eat regularly.

Chicago Thoughts

So after much contemplating, I’m going to do the marathon. I have to many people supporting me, to back out because I’m scared. The truth is, most of my hesitation comes down to fear. Will I be OK? Will I finish in the allotted time? Will I pee/poop my pants? Will the baby be OK? What if I DNF?

Other than the baby part, these are mostly the same fears I had going into my last marathon. So that said, let’s fucking do this! Beast mode engaged!

This morning I completed 10.6 miles at the chain of lakes in 2:09:29. Average pace 12:12. If I can sustain a pace similar to that for another 16 miles, I will finish well under the time limit. What I learned from today’s run is that I need to allow myself to walk when it’s necessary. I still struggle with that a little. I’m going to Chicago to RUN a marathon not WALK a marathon, right? The reality is is that my body chemistry, hormones, heart rate, respiration, and temperature have changed. I am not weak, I just need to adjust my expectations and pacing. If I want this endeavor to be successful, I will need to listen to my body more than ever before.

I can do this. I will do this, but you may need to talk me down off the ledge the night before. Seriously!

I had 4 miles on the calendar for today. I got up at 6am to head to the lakes because I knew it was going to be warm today. Somehow I ended up snoozing until almost 10 am. Oops.

By the time I was dressed and ready, it was in the high 80’s and humid. So I went to the gym and hopped on the treadmill. 9 torturous miles later I decided I had had all I could take and pulled the plug.

My contest to support the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society ends tomorrow! I am now only $72.40 from my goal. Your odds of winning are still VERY good. Help me support LLS and the research that they do to find better treatments and cures for Leukemia, Lymphoma and Myeloma.Chicago is only 5 weeks away!!!

Anyone who donates $5 between today and August 31st will be entered into a drawing for fabulous prizes. Each additional $5 donation will get you another entry. In other words a $25 donation will get you 5 entries into the contest.

If you have donated previously, you will be entered automatically. So now let’s get to the important part, the prizes. The winner will choose from the following items:

An Amphipod hand held water bottle.

24 pack of GU. Your choice of flavor.

Road ID gift card worth $25.00.

A mystery gift bag full of running goodies.

If you make a donation, don’t forget to send me a message with your tumblr name. Good luck and feel free to reblog! Click here for the link to my fundraising page.

Chicago Marathon: Week 12, Day 6

The nugget thought this was a great run. I, however would have been happy to stop after 11 miles. I really needed this long run to be successful. I’ve had some crap-tastic shorter runs lately which shook my confidence a bit. So today needed to go well, and it did. It hurt, a lot, but I finished and managed to stay mentally strong, which is always my largest obstacle. My mind tends to say no when my body is saying yes. Today, everyone was happy and on the same page.

I’m proud of myself for staying under an 11:00 mile. It wasn’t easy to do, but I’m glad I was able to maintain it for the majority of the run.

I took the world’s most painful ice bath when I got home and then threw on my compression socks. I’ll have a rendezvous with the foam roller a little later. I took Katie’s bib for the State Fair Milk Run 5k tomorrow morning. Probably not the smartest decision, but I get a free malt from the Dairy Barn!! If you are from Minnesota then you know why that’s a big deal. So I need to do my best to prevent soreness so that I can function during the 5k and then spend the entire day walking around the fair. I have a feeling it’s going to be painful, but I’m staying optimistic.

I’ve run out of room to display my bibs and I have a pile waiting for a spot. I can’t decide if I want to buy another cork board, or start attaching them directly to the wall. We rent, so I definitely don’t want to make to many holes. How do you display your bibs?

My husband surprised me by telling me that he wanted to join me on my run this morning. He’s still feeling Ragnar so we ended up walking more than running. It was a beautiful cool morning. I really wanted to take off and finish at a good pace, but we spend so little time together, I was happy to slow down for him.

We ran/walked 3.75 miles 47:21. Average pace 12:37.

When we got home, I jumped on the bike trainer and cranked out another 10 miles. I wasn’t riding very fast, but I got my heart rate up and broke a good sweat.

I rode 10.0 miles in 38:52. Average speed 15.4 mph.

If you haven’t entered my LLS contest yet, you can view the details here.

I have 30 days to complete my fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I am only $216 from my stretch goal. So that means it’s contest time!!!!

Anyone who donates $5 between today and August 31st will be entered into a drawing for fabulous prizes. Each additional $5 donation will get you another entry. In other words a $25 donation will get you 5 entries into the contest.

If you have donated previously, you will be entered automatically. So now let’s get to the important part, the prizes. The winner will choose from the following items:

An Amphipod hand held water bottle.

24 pack of GU. Your choice of flavor.

Road ID gift card worth $25.00.

A mystery gift bag full of running goodies.

If you make a donation, don’t forget to send me a message with your tumblr name. Good luck and feel free to reblog! Click here for the link to my fundraising page.

I can’t even keep track of what week I’m in training wise anymore. I think it’s 12 but who knows. I did my first post Ragnar run this morning. I’m not sore anymore, so it didn’t hurt, but I’m unbelievably tight. My legs felt like lead weights the entire run.

I was originally intending to run 5 miles, but it was proving to be such an effort, that I decided to run 2 this morning, do some Yoga, stretching and foam rolling this afternoon, then run the final 3 miles tonight. I’m on vacation this week, so I have a little more freedom to spread out my workouts.

Chicago Marathon: Week 10, Day 7

Today I started at Lake Nokomis and completed one loop. I took Minnehaha Parkway to Lake Harriet, completed a loop of the lake and then headed back to Nokomis.

This is the first time I’ve dared run Minnehaha Parkway this summer. 4 uninterrupted curving miles from lake to lake following every twist and bend of the creek. I love running here. There’s lot’s of shade. Interesting scenery and it’s usually not too crowded. However, there are no potties in sight along this trail. The poop monster has exacted his vengeance on me here more than once, so I’ve become a little gun shy. Gamble and lose 3 miles from the car, and you’ll be more cautious as well. Today everything stayed put and I was able to enjoy the cooler temps.

I am finding myself struggling a bit mentally. The last marathon I trained for, I didn’t begin to doubt myself until the last month. This time around, the fears are already creeping in. I am playing with a different set of variables this time, many of which I cannot control.

By October, I anticipate that I will be about 25 lbs heavier than at my last marathon. I know weight gain is essential to the healthy development of my child, but I also know what a difference a few pounds can make in my running. I breathe heavier. My feet hurt sooner. Things jiggle and wiggle that haven’t in a very long time. There’s more chaffing because my clothes don’t fit the same. Couple all of that with just the overwhelming-ness of marathon training, and I can intellectually understand why I am struggling already. Understanding the why however, doesn’t make me feel any better.

I know this is probably just a training slump that I will come out of, but today, I am genuinely worried.

14.0 miles in 2:29:30. Average pace 10:40.

Ran Lake Calhoun this morning with the lovely Ms. Jordan.

Conversation was had, feelings were felt.

Not our fastest run, but certainly very needed by both parties involved.

3.54 miles in 40:38. Average pace 11:29.

Cross training day.

16.0 miles on the bike in 60 minutes flat. I’m sweaty and my lady bits are numb. Good workout!

I pushed the pace a bit today and felt like a boss. It’s funny that running a full minute slower than my 10k time can now feel boss-like, but it is what it is I guess.

I then went to the doctor (after a shower) and felt like a beast. Not the good kind. The holy crap I’ve already gained how much weight kind?

I knew this was going to happen. I’ve never had a problem gaining weight. In fact it is incredibly easy. If I am not diligent, things can get away from me very easily. Clearly this is not a time to restrict and “diet”. However, I can hold my self accountable a little more and do a better job of making smart choices.

So tomorrow I begin tracking my consumption/exercise again…